Planning your wedding can seem like an endless stream decision making. To a stressed out bride trying to plan her “perfect” wedding, the decisions that go into every detail all seem equally important and stressing out about all of the details can really wear on you. Early on in my planning I heard some advice that I tried to keep in mind: “Make a decision and move on.”
You can drive yourself crazy second guessing every little decision that you make. Keeping this advice in mind can keep you sane.
You might decide that you want your bridesmaids to wear blue dresses. You order fabric swatches and know that they match perfectly with the linens you already purchased and on top of that they complete your “vision.” Good, decision made. Time to check that one off the list and move on to the next decision. Now don’t wake up in the middle of the night and start wondering if yellow or green dresses would look better. Sure, those would probably look good too, but you know what you want – that’s why you made the decision in the first place.
I tried to follow this advice, but there were definitely a few times that it was hard. I spent hours – I mean HOURS over several months – trying to decide on a first dance song. The initial research that I did paid off and we found an amazing song that we both loved and expressed the sentiment that we wanted to convey. But then I kept listening to more and more songs thinking that maybe I could a better one. Nope, on our wedding day, we danced to the song we initially decided on and it was perfect and all of that extra stress was all for naught.
Same thing with the song for the father-daughter dance. The first time I heard the song, I cried and knew I wanted to use it. But I couldn’t just make the decision and move on. Cue movie montage of me pulling my hair out while obsessively searching for and listening to “father-daughter dance songs.” And guess what? My initial decision was perfect one all along.
My song obsession expanded to trying to find the “perfect” song for all of the other big moments – processional, recessional, grand entrance, cake cutting, bouquet toss, garter toss, etc. Would we delight our guests with “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” or “Sugar, Sugar” during the cake cutting? In my obsessive mind, it seemed like the success of our reception hinged on this decision. Ridiculous, I know.
I meticulously planned out all of these songs. And honestly? I don’t remember many of them making much on an impression at our wedding. In fact, our DJ came up to me right before the bouquet toss and apologized saying that he could have sworn that he had the song I had picked out for it and now he couldn’t find it, but he had something that he thought I would like. I can’t for the life of me tell you what song he ended up playing. So if it turned out that not even I as the bride could remember these little songs, there’s a pretty good chance that they didn’t make a huge impression on our guests either.
So go with your gut for the things that matter. I knew which songs I wanted for our first dance and father-daughter dances all along, but couldn’t just make that decision and move on. And for the things that don’t matter (i.e. cake cutting songs), don’t make them matter. They don’t give an award for most creative cake cutting song, I promise.
Megan McDaniel is a recent Pink Diamond bride. Each month in her guest posts, she shares a few tips that she picked up while planning her wedding.